It's Still July!!!

And it's my dad's birthday.

I don't want to be that sweater that no one knows is unraveling until it becomes see-through.

I don't have the answers to how Alex and I will get through this deployment. It just feels so long already and it's not yet a month. I'm trying to stay sane with prayer.

One Point!!

Disappointment stopped by today as my boyfriend Alex told me he missed the cutting score for Cpl by one point. One!! It is especially disheartening because just about 2 months ago he told me that he was lowballed on the fitness test. He did all his MCI's. He's been in for so long and this isn't the first time that he's been passed over.

But I prefer to look at it this way: to have missed it by one point means that THEY can see he's been doing the job of a Corporal. We already know that.We've been working on it for months, and we are going to continue working for that recognition.

Hoorah!

My Poisoned Apple

My iPad screen had a hairline crack from a few months ago...and since then I've been extra careful and it hasn't gotten worse. But this morning I woke up to find a bunch of new ones? Like 20 of them!! How could this happen?!! It looks like it got in a knife fight with my pillow or something. I'm so upset and disappointed with the way apple makes their products. Because it seems I'll have to buy a new one or try self repairing it. At this rate... I think I'll try self-repair though I've never done it. I haven't even had this a year yet...

I love the user interface and the apps... But next time I know a kindle fire is a better financial option and it actually has a usable warranty !!

From our Lips to God's Ears

Alex called me!!! Twice!!
It feels so good. So comforting to hear his voice. It's like an answered prayer.

I've been reading about prayer and I really need to improve my prayer relationship with God. Without it, I find myself being doubtful. Doubtful about my ability to make progress. I want to work towards a career. No longer do I want just a job. I want to go to school and sometimes I feel "what if I don't get in?"

Day 9

And it feels like its been a month at least. I don't even want to talk to his family so much because it's so hard. Just to ask me how I'm doing (when I know it's about him) makes me cry. I really just have to keep a distance from those thoughts to function. I spoke to his dad a bit yesterday, it wasn't about how i'm doing so it wasn't so bad. His mom text me the other day but besides my phone going dead, I really couldn't reply because I would just cry.

He emailed me though! A boy does it make a difference. It really helps... I feel just a bit closer... As if it's just an impassable country road rather than actual countries that separate us.

Deployed

Alex isn't a phone call away anymore. I know. I've tried. I don't like it.

Paper Clip

Its funny how we can get attached to things. After I got my iPad I bought a case for it. It was $7.99 at Marshalls. I liked it but I meant to use it only until I got one of the expensive (for me at least) skins. I ended up keeping it and not buying the skin... And I can't imagine Looking in my bag and seeing a different one. Even though this one is getting tattered, I still like it too much to part with it.

A Dream Deferred

by Langston Hughes


What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

And 5...

Alex will be leaving on deployment soon. I don't know how to approach it. I already miss him.