Rain, Rain

It is raining, it is pouring!

And I kind of like it :)

Today feels like one of those days where I don't know when or how, but it feels like everything is going to be okay. And I'm not going to question that feeling.

I also feel like, it's time to start making big moves.

I want to start planning my business, and since I won't know if optometry is for me unless I try the classes, I need to sign up for a chem/bio/physics class as well.

Aujourd'hui

Aujourd'hui, on m'a dit que mon copain aller a Haiti ... aujourd'hui!

To cheer myself up I decided to go to the movies ... it only half-worked even though Bridesmaids is roll-on-the-floor-laughing because:

1. I was supposed to go with him

2. In the middle I realized I didnt have my mom's phone and what if he was trying to call me?

3. After the movie ended, and the laughtr died down, he was still going to Haiti.

bright side time:

1. It's the land of his heritage

2. I think he might actually enjoy it more than he did Africa

3. I think he'll feel connected to Haitian culture and feel pride in it

4. He'll get to practice his Creole and then get to teach me

5. I'll get to hear some sexy creole in my ear...mmm

6. It's not Iraq/Iran/Afghanistan/the middle east

7. God will be with him through it all and protect him, Amen.

Favorite Movies of All Time

Today my world was shaken

I was sitting in my sister's living room, watching my niece, watching tv. And then I felt it. An outward physical manifestation of the rocking in my womb ... an earthquake was upon the East coast of North America. 5.9 originating in Virginia, and felt in Washington DC, Martha's Vineyard, OH, NY, Toronto. I couldn't believe it, and did one of those balance regaining moves (hands out to the side surfer style) even though I was sitting, why was the door, the tv, the wall, the whole house shaking?? And my sister not freaking out as I did? Turns out she didnt feel a thing ... she thought it was the construction workers and when I pointed out the kids and security guards running from the high school next door, she said school was out. Talk about waxing optimistic. In fact she had to call everybody and realize that phone lines were out and that those who she did get felt it to believe it.

I tried calling my boyfriend a few times and got his voice mail, turns out he was okay, thank God!

*

Now the rebels have taken Tripoli, and it seems that they have control. Gaddafi, on the other hand, seems to think he is outmaneuvering them ...

Mind you since Mubarrak is out of office, he is the longest standing autocrat in the Arab world. And Egypt borders Libya. Neighboring Tunisia's Albidine Ben Ali has also been deposed this year in uprisings. Algeria's Bouteflika has yet to go. I say that's where he is ... it's closest to where he last had a stronghold in Tripoli.

I sincerely hope there is now a lasting calm in the area, and that in rebuilding a nation corrupt politicians are at an all-time low, and that there is no violence.

Read more ...
http://www.reuters.com/places/libya

2 for 2

I just celebrated my birthday -- I turned 22! But I'm not ready to talk about it yet. Perhaps I need time to appreciate and reflect ...

For now though, I'm in a state of melancholy. I don't know why really. I usually dont expect much from people, because I don't like being disappointed (and who does?). But I take it especially hard on my birthdays ...

Anyway, I love summers, and I love cake ... and I'm slowly making my room into the oasis I need it to be. Although I be broke soon, I need some moments of happy, even if it's me in bed talking to my Alex at night.

I just have to remember I'm growing into the woman I need to be, and I must keep moving forward.

Hmm... I haven't been to Central Park all summer ... I think that will be my birthday solo travel I've been aching for ... good thing too, I've got many summer books to dig into, a movie at Kew Gardens Cinema to see, and a third birthday cake to buy because it was so cheap and so unexpectedly good, and brings me close to happy...

Missing you

"You wanna come over and watch a movie?"

That has become the line I most want to hear.

Getting dressed, and being picked up by you, and to sit or walk next to you until we're there is a time I cherish.

At first I looked forward to your hands being crossed on your chest, limiting the ways you could touch me, and your head resting on my shoulder.

Now that would be a mental torture.

Now, I look forward to snuggling, and our cuddling ... and hearing your laugh, and feeling your breath on my ear and neck, and hugging you completely unreserved...

I miss you.

Today

Called Stony Brook Math & Physics Library for the umpteenth time this year to straighten out an incorrect fee ... only to find out that they had cancelled my fee already but never told me. (Bad service move, but great for me!)

With that done, I must now go down my list.

To Do:

1. Call Mr.Ovide1 (lol)
2. Call Mr.Ovide2 (because i shouldn't say (but show) that I heart him so much)
3. Complete secret mission 1 (don't ask because I can't tell! its a secret!)
4. Write up resignation letter
5. Write up payment owed letter
6. Make brownies
7. Assemble tv stand
8. Take shower (sooner rather than later)
9. Clean room ... which leads me to have to
10. Donate clothing
11. And launder clothing (I do like doing laundry ... just dislike going to a laundromat)
12. Send more graduation cards/letters

"Oo-Rah"

http://marines.dodlive.mil/2011/06/10/recruiting-norm-anderson/

I don't like being clueless about what my boyfriend does. He's a Marine and has been for 2 years now, but something about our upgrade from best friends to couple has me more worried. I used to be able to push it back, or just think about him returning but now I feel his absence more acutely.

So I've been reading, nothing in particular but anything that I find.

The link above is to a story I found on the Marine Corps base Camp LeJeune website. It's a story about a Marine who recruited 2 kids straight out of H.S and heard of their deaths. It reminds me of the human side, to see that he was remorseful and valued human life. It's a tough decision to be a Marine, and to some extent it requires de-humanization in the way you view life's value in a Them vs. Us mentality. An emotional disconnect and de-humanization is a fear I've had for Alex since he told me he wanted to join USMC.

I find that reading the actual human stories gives me perspective, even if it does scare the living daylight out of me. Unlike Victoria though, I'd be angry. Inconsolably so. And for a long time. Not because I don't believe in what he's fighting for, I value human life, rights and our freedom. But he is my heart, and everything I ever prayed for and hoped for silently. I don't want him to be taken from me.

***

Currently watching Lord of the Rings ... Love this quote.

Samwise Gamgee: I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo; the ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end... because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was, when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines, it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you, that meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.

Frodo Baggins: What are we holding on to, Sam?

Samwise Gamgee: That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it’s worth fighting for.