9/11

Today in New York City we remembered the victims of September 11th 2001. The names of the victims we read by their families at the World Trade Center sites where the planes crashed. The footprints of the twin towers soothed mourners with the sound of smooth waterfalls of a million tears. And all over social media sites people extended condolences, and remembered their own experiences 11 years ago.

I wore a ribbon with the American flag on it to commemorate the day, and remembered the stunned look on everyone's face as we watched the news that night in Jamaica. The realization that it was not just an accidental plane crash as the second one hit, and that a third had been headed toward the Pentagon. My heart clenched in worry for my mom and family, and I was saddened for all who lost their lives. I couldn't watch as I saw someone jump, knowing they knew the inevitable. I would soon find out my family was okay. But the separation by land and sea did not protect the island from this catastrophe. We heard of Jamaicans who died, some who were inside and some who could not outrun the debris. I wondered what did this mean? As a child I had no answers.

Today, 11 years later, it is easy to see that nowhere escaped the change the 9/11 attacks would bring. It has made me more empathetic to the plight of people who are
near or far. We are an interdependent world where globalism means more than economics. It means social welfare. On this day, I pray that we all become active participants in peace. The blue lights from the towers shine tonight to honor the victims, the US military that continues to fight for peace, the families of both, and hopefully the dedication of this God-blessed country to overcome evil with good. Truly, an injustice anywhere is an injustice everywhere. We will never forget.

Does being in a "military relationship" mean I must be self-sacrificing all the time?

It's hard being Alex's girlfriend sometimes. His being a Marine makes me feel like I should put my feelings aside to make his life easier. It's very difficult to be a Marine.It means living at work, rarely seeing for family, taking care of personal/family business on your "leave days", getting deployed, putting your life on the line for you're country. But I defy that feeling.

When he is home, I am pretty much at his disposal. I would go to work then chimed back and take a shower and go to his house. That would work for a day or two, but then knowing he'd leave soon I would just go straight to goods house after work. I would be tired and starving because I was going non-stop, taking the bus, and saving for a future from a paycheck that didn't allow me to save enough and have lunch too. As you can imagine, the euphoria of seeing my boyfriend did away with any feelings of frustration for the moment.

But here we are now, he is deployed and I am very frustrated. The little things I asked of him that didn't happen take on a greater weight now. Why? 2 reasons: 1. Because now that he's deployed, though I miss him, there's not much of a difference than when he's here. It's frustrating that someone who says they want to marry me feels so ABSENT without a phone available. I would love to tell myself

that if he were here I'd be getting flowers, love letters, cards... little things that show affection and make him feel present. But ad it is, if he were here I'd be taking to him everyday and seeing him for a weekend every few months. 2. I don't ask for much. Like I said flowers, cards, letters do the job fine. Last year when he called (all day :-D) for my birthday I was so pleased. I threw myself a little get together that flopped...(I've only ever had one birthday party) but that was okay. I didn't get any gifts but 2 people gave made a birthday card :) What I was really hoping for was to get a gift from my boyfriend...but nothing came in the mail. Not even a birthday card. And he was in the USA! I made it clear to him last year that I expect a gift ON my birthday. Not a birthday gift when he comes to town. So this year when he did the same thing (yep, still not even a birthday card) I was very disappointed. Because why should I remind him about something so basic in relationships & society? But after my birthday I just Haas to say it to him...I hope the gift is just late in delivery, not that you didn't try. But if you didn't, since you have access (though limited) to WiFi, so send me a gift! It's been 3 weeks now and nada. So yeah I'm past frustration. Im mad! And even though he is deployed and it's hard for him, I had to let many feelings known. This relationship should be conducive to both of US being happy. Not one person at the expense of the other.

Labor Day!

Many people you Labor Day to unofficially end their summer... but not me! I mean I haven't been to Central Park yet! At least not on my terms...

But today was a good day! We went to ken-Ann's. All the kids played in the backyard and we grilled some food... so yum!

Even my mom got on the swing!